When I was in the 2nd grade, I already knew that I liked girls... a lot! In fact, for the majority of my early years, it was the older girls (you know, the girls on the "big kids" playground) that I had my eye on. The 3rd and 4th grade girls were cuter and had the ability to make me popular, and I WANTED TO IMPRESS THEM.
One day, while standing in the lunch line for a Chalupa (a wonderful taco boat full of cheese, meat and grease), one of the older girls asked if she could see my Weiner. What the hell is a boy to do? I whipped it out and showed her. In all of my 2nd grade glory, I showed her my pee-pee and she liked it. Or so I thought. That was the moment in my life I learned that laughter is not always a sign of elation. She told her friends about the wonder she had seen and before you knew it I WAS POPULAR. Every girl in the school had left there PB&J's to bare witness to the baby ground hog with no shadow to speak of. Imagine if you will the sight of 15 girls circled around a little boy who is spinning around with his sprinkler hanging out (or at least exposed).
It didn't take long for the other boys to cock block me (I can't believe I was able to actually use that term in a literal context!) and before I knew it I was sitting in the Principle's Office lying about what I had done. After admitting to my very small infraction I was sent back to class with the instructions to tell my parents what I had done. That was it. No punishment from the school at all, and all my dad did was ask what sort of technique I had used to get a dozen girls to want to see it.
So why the long post about my early days as a flasher?
Because some idiots in Virginia have declared a 6-year old boy a Sex-Offender for slapping a fellow student (a girl) on the bottom during recess! You have to follow this link and read for yourself how bad it has become in our Public School system.
If a 6-year old boy can't slap a girl on the ass, then what the Hell are we paying GYM teachers for?