The Plastic Spoon: K-FED

K-FED

When I grow up I want to be Kevin Federline. Up until recently, I thought that Britney's ex was a poster boy for Douche bags, but thanks to both Britney and an absolutely genius Superbowl Ad

I have actually grown pretty fond of the Douche bag. This morning on my way to work, I heard a report on the radio that made K-Fed's stock soar. The professional loser gets over 15k per month in child support and will continue to get that for the next 16+ years... unless he begins to make more money than Brit Brit. The chances of this happening, according to a Yahoo! News Report are pretty slim. Here are the fun facts:

Federline spent over $43,000 on Vegas hotels, dining and shopping between May '07 and January '08

Almost $1500 at Versace.
Almost 4k at TAO nightclub.
$3,008 at the Hard Rock Beach Club.
At Scores (a nudie bar) he dropped a $2000 tip on a $365 tab!

So the spending isn't that bad, because he has to be making some decent money right? In 2007 Federline spent $841,129! A guy spending that kind of money must be making a load of dough... Try $544,075... that means that our boy K-FED is at a net loss of almost -$300,000!

So why do I want to be K-FED when I grow up? Besides the fact the he somehow manages to pay his other baby's mama (Shar Jackson) more for child support than Britney pays him ( $18.228 per month)?

I want to be Mr. Federline, because Pure Nightclub in Vegas paid him $15,000 to come to his own birthday party and also another $50,000 for various appearances in December of 2007!

My birthday is coming up in a couple of months and if anyone wants to pay me to be at a party in my honor, the starting bid is a Miller High life Tall-Boy.

Posted at 09:25 AM in Current Affairs | Permalink

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