When I was in the 2nd grade, I already knew that I liked girls... a lot! In fact, for the majority of my early years, it was the older girls (you know, the girls on the "big kids" playground) that I had my eye on. The 3rd and 4th grade girls were cuter and had the ability to make me popular, and I WANTED TO IMPRESS THEM.
One day, while standing in the lunch line for a Chalupa (a wonderful taco boat full of cheese, meat and grease), one of the older girls asked if she could see my Weiner. What the hell is a boy to do? I whipped it out and showed her. In all of my 2nd grade glory, I showed her my pee-pee and she liked it. Or so I thought. That was the moment in my life I learned that laughter is not always a sign of elation. She told her friends about the wonder she had seen and before you knew it I WAS POPULAR. Every girl in the school had left there PB&J's to bare witness to the baby ground hog with no shadow to speak of. Imagine if you will the sight of 15 girls circled around a little boy who is spinning around with his sprinkler hanging out (or at least exposed).
It didn't take long for the other boys to cock block me (I can't believe I was able to actually use that term in a literal context!) and before I knew it I was sitting in the Principle's Office lying about what I had done. After admitting to my very small infraction I was sent back to class with the instructions to tell my parents what I had done. That was it. No punishment from the school at all, and all my dad did was ask what sort of technique I had used to get a dozen girls to want to see it.
So why the long post about my early days as a flasher?
Because some idiots in Virginia have declared a 6-year old boy a Sex-Offender for slapping a fellow student (a girl) on the bottom during recess! You have to follow this link and read for yourself how bad it has become in our Public School system.
If a 6-year old boy can't slap a girl on the ass, then what the Hell are we paying GYM teachers for?
A slap on the ass?? Those cops should have seen the shenanigans that went on at Coast CHRISTIAN School in my day! I'm talking full on curiosity getting the best of those boys. I saw a pee pee or two in elementary school and I've got to be honest, I'm probably better off for it.
Posted by: Melissavina | April 15, 2008 at 04:04 PM