I had a GREAT Easter weekend! Yesterday was beautiful, there was good food, family, and friends, I got to bed at a descent time and slept like a rock... a rock who had to much wine... but a rock none the less. This morning I woke up refreshed and actually excited about going to work. My drive to work is 19 miles each way and if I leave before 8am, I can usually make it in just less than 20 minutes. This mornings commute was surprisingly easy, that is until a woman in a huge white suburban (We'll call her Some Dumb Bitch) cut me off, nearly running me in to the car to my right. I looked to see who she was, but couldn't see anything until I lowered my middle finger from it's violently elevated position in from of my face. Once my fully extended non-verbal digit was out of sight I saw an amazing sticker on Some Dumb Bitch's urban assault vehicle. From window to window in homemade stencil stickers was the advertisement
GUIDE DOGS FOR THE BLIND
I swear to Allah, this woman (who clearly didn't see me) had a home marketing campaign (directed towards the blind) strewn across her rear window, complete with a phone number! I immediately considered calling my deaf friend to tell him about what I saw, but remembered he was out running with my paraplegic buddy to our mute friends choral concert. It was really too bad, cause they all would have gotten a kick out the irony.
The spoon has no official policy about posting phone numbers, however out of consideration for Some Dumb Bitch, we will not be publishing her contact information. Besides everyone knows that the blind don't care for blogs with white backgrounds. What I have done might actually surprise you. I called Some Dumb Bitch minutes ago and gave her our web address. Our conversation went something like this;
"Good morning, Guide Dogs for the Blind"
"Excuse me..? I didn't hear you, who is this?"
"This is Guide Dogs for the Blind, how may I help you?"
"Huh? I thought this was the phone number for hearing aids for the deaf... what? is it?"
"No sir, this is Guide Dogs for the Blind"
"Oh... what? Hello? Can you speak louder?"
"I - A-M S-O-R-R-Y S-I-R . . . I T-H-I-N-K Y-O-U M-I-G-H-T H-A-V-E T-H-E W-R-O-N-G N-U-M-B-E-R..."
"Whoa lady, I said I couldn't hear you, not that I was Asian! Listen, I am calling because I do marketing for companies who take advantage ... I mean care of people with special needs. If you take a moment to visit my website, thePlasticSpoon.blogs.com, you might find that we have a perfect logo for your business."
"That is wonderful, because we are actually looking to make our business appear more professional"
"Would you say that you would like people to SEE you as more legitimate?"
"Exactly!"
"Great, then take a look at our site"
"What do you charge?"
"For people like you? Your satisfaction will be payment enough."
"Thank you sir, I will check out your site right now."
"You are welcome ma'am... I hope you enjoy the artwork."
"Bye"
"bye"
Sorry about the long dialog, but I thought it would be important, because here is the logo...
So, Some Dumb Bitch, did you like it?