Appraud and Crap!

In an unprecedented moved, the Chinese Government has enlisted professional cheer leaders for the upcoming Summer Games this August.  This will not be the standard cheerleader we are so used to seeing (and looking for), although she does look like she might be working for US Olympic Bicycle Team

Instead, many of the nearly 1/4 of a million "Official Cheerleaders" are former state employees who have been drafted out of retirement for this most honorable opportunity.

According to the Washington Post, "They have been taught when to roar their approval and why not to boo other teams, especially those from onetime enemy countries. They will be assigned to events based partly on the decibel levels desired, organizers say."

The Beijing Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games emphasizes the importance of both enlisting and training these Cultural Ambassadors;

"The Chinese don't know very much about baseball, archery, handball or water polo. Part of this is an exercise to teach organized cheering that can be used at events they have no experience at," said Jeff Ruffolo, a spokesman for the committee.

To all of you perverts out there withs some sort of Asian fetish, simmer down a bit, because you probably can't expect to see armies of young Chinese girls in communist-red tights and ringerie. What you are more likely to see are hundreds of thousands of Chinese grandparents toting flags, handkerchiefs, thunder-sticks, and of course flied lice as they appraud and crap for the home team.

"Higher, higher! Faster, faster! Stronger, stronger!"

If the goal of the Communist Country is to show the world unity, strength in numbers, blind obedience, false excitement, and the effects of too much MSG, then their return on investment should be grand.  If not, then the rest of the world should (if nothing else) have another thing thing to laugh at the Chinese about.

Also worth noting...  There have been thousands of Chinese volunteers who have been trained to man the entrances to each event.  Since English is the international language the have been taught a phrase to say to each visitor as they pass through the entrance...

"No Ticky.. No Orympy"

Comments

[Ant-Knee]

We should all have one of these, personal cheerleader. Funny, I can't have a dog where I live but I bet I could have one of these!

[the Plastic Spoon]

If you did have a dog, one of the Orympic cheerleaders might try to make a kung pow with flied lice

[Sarah]

I'm am 2 posts away from filling one of these out:
http://www.nccri.ie/reportform.html